Zombie Rules, #1: Zombies do NOT just eat brains.
That’s right. For all of you folks out there whose auto-response at hearing the word “zombie” is to intone “Bra-a-a-ains!” and cackle (okay, you don’t all cackle, but a surprising percentage of you do, so wtf is that all about?), this is wrong. Yes, I suppose that zombies will eat brains if the skull is cracked open, but if you’ve watched any of George Romero’s (or Fulci’s, fer crissake), you will know it’s about the fresh meat, the organs, and the intestines (we’ve all enjoyed the cinematic zombie intestinal taffy-pull scene multiple times).
But other than Dan O’Bannon’s admittedly hilarious Return of the Living Dead, its sequels, and that Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode, how many times have you seen a zombie chowing down on brains, just brains, and only brains?
Because of O’Bannon, however, those of us who know better have to put up with you brain-obsessed folks and cringe every time you go “Bra-a-a-ains!... heh heh…”
Admittedly I’ve been known to get a bit … shrill when this comes up in conversation.
Okay, fine, a lot shrill.
But it’s just plain annoying and inaccurate. And when you’re dealing with the important things in life, such as Diets of the Living Dead, you need to get these things right! Because there will always be people like me ready to rip out your intestines if you don’t stop with the “Bra-a-a-ins…”
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